Follow The Wall Street Gerbil on Google+

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Chinese Army Ready for War After Calling Pentagon's Bluff

Wall Street Gerbil - Chinese Army Ready for War After Calling Pentagon's Bluff.  PLA maneuvers in anticipation of an American attack.  We will crush them, said one PLA official.  What are they waiting for? asked another.  How many hacks do we need to pull off before they attack?
PLA maneuvers in anticipation of an American attack.  "We will crush them," said one PLA official.  "What are they waiting for?" asked another.  "How many hacks do we need to pull off before they attack?"  PHOTO SOURCE: People's Daily Online
BEIJING - The Chinese People's Liberation Army maintained its defensive readiness posture at China's highest threat level, "Imperialist Attack Imminent," in continued anticipation of an American attack on the communist country.  Apparently, the Chinese government is convinced US military forces are planning an attack in retaliation of China's latest cyber attacks on US companies and senior government officials.  "On May 31st, the American Pig Pentagon indicated cyber-attacks could be considered acts of war," Beijing's Internal General Director of Intelligence and Clandestine Kllings ("BIGDICK") Huong Wei Lo indicated during a brief press conference.  "Our response has been immediate and clear.  Game on!"

When asked why the Chinese government would want to instigate World War III, BIGDICK Huong Wei Lo ranted, "We are calling the American Capitalist Imperialistic Pig's bluff!  Google, the White House, Citibank...should I keep going?  The Americans are in no position to do anything.  Their military is busy hunting down goat-herders, killing cave dwelling rats, and policing barbarian tribes.  And, [chuckles smugly] they've no money to finance a war.  Any money they have left is owed to us, Mother China!"

A South Korean reporter inquired why China would want to enter a shooting war with the US, its largest debtor.  "Wouldn't that cripple the finances of the Chinese government?" the reporter asked.

"The PLA will annihilate the American scourge and all of its traitorous allies!" the BIGDICK shouted.  The reporter was then seized by two Chinese Army privates and removed from the press conference.  "Communism with a sprinkle of capitalism here and there will prevail!" the BIGDICK railed.  Phone calls to the reporter by Wall Street Gerbil staff were not returned.

BIGDICK Huong also stated today's attack on a Vietnamese seismic survey boat was "just a taste of what's in store for the Americans.  It was good practice, too.  We're really frustrated the Americans have not attacked yet.  This was a good release."

Despite repeated requests from the Wall Street Gerbil for interviews with senior Pentagon leadership, the Pentagon has released only a terse statement indicating "the positions outlined in the cybersecurity strategy report we issued on May 31st were more guidelines than rules."

Wall Street Gerbil - Chinese Army Ready for War After Calling Pentagon's Bluff.  Cybersecurity?  Bullshit.


  1. Ah, China is just testing us, plus I think Huong Lo was not all there. Hence the reason why the PLA officers carried him away. But, nonetheless, he does have several points. We are to busy hunting goat herders and we owe money to China (But in a time of war China will receive nothing). If a war were to happen then I would think it would be a draw (maybe) we have better technology, weapons, gear, vehicles, etc. Basically they have technology that was used in the1980's, And their economy would also be severely affected in a time of war.

    1. Good point. If they are so eager for war let them attack us!

    2. yeah were to lazy to attack them, but when they show up we will shove so many big macs® down their throat they be fatter than us. That's assuming they make it pass are beer can bombs and are Merican football team YE-HAW


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.