|PLA maneuvers in anticipation of an American attack. "We will crush them," said one PLA official. "What are they waiting for?" asked another. "How many hacks do we need to pull off before they attack?" PHOTO SOURCE: People's Daily Online|
When asked why the Chinese government would want to instigate World War III, BIGDICK Huong Wei Lo ranted, "We are calling the American Capitalist Imperialistic Pig's bluff! Google, the White House, Citibank...should I keep going? The Americans are in no position to do anything. Their military is busy hunting down goat-herders, killing cave dwelling rats, and policing barbarian tribes. And, [chuckles smugly] they've no money to finance a war. Any money they have left is owed to us, Mother China!"
A South Korean reporter inquired why China would want to enter a shooting war with the US, its largest debtor. "Wouldn't that cripple the finances of the Chinese government?" the reporter asked.
"The PLA will annihilate the American scourge and all of its traitorous allies!" the BIGDICK shouted. The reporter was then seized by two Chinese Army privates and removed from the press conference. "Communism with a sprinkle of capitalism here and there will prevail!" the BIGDICK railed. Phone calls to the reporter by Wall Street Gerbil staff were not returned.
BIGDICK Huong also stated today's attack on a Vietnamese seismic survey boat was "just a taste of what's in store for the Americans. It was good practice, too. We're really frustrated the Americans have not attacked yet. This was a good release."
Despite repeated requests from the Wall Street Gerbil for interviews with senior Pentagon leadership, the Pentagon has released only a terse statement indicating "the positions outlined in the cybersecurity strategy report we issued on May 31st were more guidelines than rules."